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When I am King (don’t hold your breath) libraries will be open on holidays.

It’s not as crazy as it sounds. Just check out the nearest quality book store on any holiday and you’ll see how obvious this connection is. The smell of ink on bound paper is always therapeutic. What could be more refreshing then a leisurely stroll through stacks of books? And think of all the holiday-related activities that occur so naturally in the library. You can take a journey with a fantasy novel, plan your next vacation, or maybe even learn about – or teach your children about – the holiday your community is celebrating. If you’re traveling on your vacation, what better way to encounter the authentic flavor, to take the measure of another locale, than to breathe in the hallowed air of their library.

This is not to devalue our hard-working librarians. On the contrary, it should illustrate my profound appreciation for their important work. After all, hospitals and police stations remain open. No one closes the parks or theaters on holidays. Or the beaches, or the stadiums, all of which require the services of diligent caretakers. Why should the library be any different?

And this doesn’t imply that librarians should work for free, either. Communities pay multiples of their employees’ regular wages to keep essential service providers on duty during a holiday. No one balks at paying a premium to keep our first responders available during these crucial times.

Join me in my campaign to make libraries open and available on holidays for future generations.

If that sounds too unlikely, you can always work to make me king and I’ll take care of the rest.

I have a love-hate relationship with the autotext feature that scrolls above any email or message I peck out on my cell phone. Half the time it displays words that are so improbable that I wonder what the programmers were thinking. The other half, it predicts my words with frightening accuracy. But it also has a tendency to draw (imho) too strongly on popular culture. ‘Johansson’ isn’t the only word likely to follow ‘Scarlett,’ especially if you love to read. I guess the worst part is when I start to enter a word that I’m sure the program will autocomplete for me. Letter by letter, I glance up to see if the goofy device has figured out where I’m going with all this. I finally finish the entire word (like it’s some daunting task, right?) and I’m disappointed that it doesn’t understand me better by now.

What’s the funniest or most embarrassing autocomplete experience your machine has put you through? Add a comment below.