Emoticons are fine. But what’s the font setting for sarcasm?
Food Particles
Flossing with braces helped me appreciate the huge variety of food debris I accumulated in the typical meal. I’d say food particles, but that implies small, partly-masticated, microscopic, you know … particles. These babies are more like petite-fours or finger sandwiches. Talk about saving something for later. A man could live an extra week on all the good grub I can now pack around. The only difference between me and a chipmunk is that I have the same storage capacity, but mine comes with its own filing system. Before the advent of non-stick cookware, it was common for recipes for scrambled eggs to describe the number of eggs to prepare as follows: one and a half eggs for each guest and one for the pan, because that’s how much would stick. I find myself thinking that way with the food I eat. By my third Chicken McNugget, I’ve filled in all the cracks and some of the food actually gets swallowed.
Facial Gymnastics
I mentioned the repeated waxing of the brackets and how that’s probably the thing that really moves the teeth around. The other thing that inevitably improves a person’s smile are the daily facial gymnastics necessary to thread dental floss through all the crevices that need to be cleaned. I’ll have lips like Mick Jagger if I keep this up long enough.
The Right Question
Three seminary students were each given the chance to ask Jesus a single question to show their accomplishment in their studies.
When the first asked his question, the assembled professors nodded and congratulated one-another. Just the sort of thing they would have asked.
Jesus smiled patiently and tried to answer in terms the student might understand.
The second asked her question. Again the professors smiled. “You should have read her last essay,” one whispered to his neighbor. “Brightest student in the class,” another agreed.
Jesus sighed and asked for a piece of paper. The resulting diagram became a cherished relic in the college’s library collection. To date, in fact, it has been the basis for six Ph.D. theses. The fact that all of the authors had opposing interpretations didn’t keep them from graduating with honors.
Finally, the third student was ready. He simply asked Jesus if he wanted to go get a hamburger with him. The assembled professors were scandalized. They tsked and scowled and exchanged dark looks. Who did this upstart think he was, anyway?
But Jesus smiled for the first time. “I think you’re studies are coming along nicely.”
Why I needed Braces
I needed braces because I had a cross-bite. I had a severe overbite because my lower jaw was too short. Also, the width between my upper teeth, the width of the maxilla, was too narrow. The outsides of my upper molars lined up with the middle grooves of the lower molars. Ideally, that’s where the inside edges should have been. So the maxilla was too narrow by the width of a whole molar.
Because my lower jaw was so short, my lower teeth cut right across the track of my upper teeth, a cross-bite. So all my bite force was concentrated on the front molars.
Doing and Achieving
What is your doing achieving?