I’m no fire-eater, but I like a little picante in my diet. It’s not too impressive, but jalapeños are about my upper limit for capsaicin intake. So I knew I was making progress in my recovery after oral surgery when salsa sounded good and didn’t hurt.
Just After Surgery
Wake to hear my wife’s voice calling;
John, can you hear me? Quit your stalling;
It took so long to wake you up;
We’re glad to see you sober up.
Smile for camera? Try not to pout;
Herman Munster with the gout.
Pictures for a horror show;
Before and after, don’t you know?
Glazy eyes and stoned out grin.
How come I can’t feel my chin?
Surgery
Now I rise me up to wake;
One more antibiotic to take.
Jump into the family car;
Really won’t have to drive too far.
See the sunrise, enjoy the view;
Nothing to swallow, nothing to chew.
Dress in these, put those right there;
You can keep your underwear.
A few light squeezes, that’s a cinch;
You might just feel a little pinch.
A little saline, from this bag;
Will keep you hydrated; Here wear this tag.
Wife can sit in waiting room;
“Love you lots; I’ll see you soon.”
Wheel you into this chilly room;
Lay down here; stretch your arms;
Release your life and all its charms;
Inject a potion in your I.V.;
You’ll be asleep before…
Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit.
Preparing for Surgery
No vitamins or supplements after this date. No ibuprofen or acetaminophen this many days before. No food after midnight the night before. Have these prescriptions filled. Use the oral rinse the day before and the morning of. Swallow these antibiotics. Oh, and have your will updated, tell Moms and Dads you love them, and give hugs to all your family members.
Do you prefer ‘NORCOs’ or ‘WATSONs’?
In preparation for surgery, I had a doctor ask me if I preferred “NORCOs” over “WATSONs.” Really? Am I supposed to know these pain killers well enough to do brand comparisons in my head? I can count the number of times I’ve had such a prescription on one hand (thank God). I could no more compare my experiences than I could remember what I’d taken on previous occasions.
Extending the Jaw
The lower jaw is considered a long bone like the femur. When a leg bone is too short relative to its counterpart it can be lengthened surgically.
As with the leg bones, to extend the lower jaw, a cut is made perpendicular to the bone on one side, but not through the middle of the bone. The marrow, nerve bundles, and blood vessels remain uncut. The cut is extended along the length of the bone on top and bottom. A final perpendicular cut is made along the opposite side of the bone. In this way the rigid parts of the bone can be un-telescoped lengthwise, leaving the middle of the bone tissue intact, but elongated. (We all need to be stretched, don’t we?) It’s similar to sliding a drawer out.
With the jaw, this procedure is done on both sides.
Once the proper length is achieved, the rigid pieces are anchored in place to heal and the gaps fill in with new bone.